"LOL," "Haha," And Other Useless Phrases

Come on, people. You're killing the English language.

I admit that I do things sometimes would make my high school English teachers attack me, but I also don't think it's quite the same thing. For some reason, chatspeak makes me want to kick a cinder block. However, I'm fully aware that taking such an action would only result in a broken toe, and people would continue this terrible act of linguistic abuse. As such, I'll just write about it. It's much less painful, even though...people will still continue this terrible act of linguistic abuse.

For starters, it doesn't further the conversation. If that's really all you have to say...don't say anything. It's an unnecessary statement that only annoys the people you're saying it to. When I get a Facebook notification, it'd be nice to see something that actually relates to the topic at hand, or at least keeps the conversation going. Nobody is stimulated to carry on by "lol." (Though I admit that, most of the time, nobody is stimulated to carry on without "lol," either...)

To that, I'll simply add that it's hard to hold a conversation with someone who has nothing else to say but "lol." As I said above: If that's all you have to say, don't say anything. (I know this comes across as a bit haughty, but..come on. Think about it for a few seconds: doesn't it drive you crazy to have three or four notifications that simply say "hehe"?)

Some of you will substitute "haha" or "hehe" in place of an "lol." This is acceptable, but...not always necessary. Sometimes, it's better just to either leave it alone, or note your amusement through context. Or smilies. Smilies are a completely acceptable form of voicing your emotions. ...unless you abuse them, in which case you can count them on the "PleaseStopKillingMyLanguage" list, too. If you can't note said amusement, one of those phrases can be included, but...never by itself. 


The occasional chatspeak is acceptable. But sometimes, it just pushes the line a liiiittle too much.

In closing, I'd just like to say: lolroflcoptergoesswahswahswahswah