...when I said I was going to bed? That wasn't a lie. In fact, it's exactly what I did. But here's the thing...I am still awake.
No. I'm more than awake. You remember that time when you were a little kid, and you were all, like, "OMGCOOKIES" at 9 o'clock at night, and your mother gave you a couple of them and said, "No more, or you'll be up all night." Because of the sugar, right? Well, tonight, I bought a bag of Oreo's with a couple of friends. ...I don't live at home. ...And I was all, like, "OMGCOOKIES!" and ate way too many of them. And for a while, I felt kinda sick, and so I lounged around being lazy. Then I started the blog and wrote the first entry and got sleepy and went to bed.
At this point, I would like to make the following note: Oreo's are delicious. You're probably nodding in agreement, or smiling. Maybe you're eating an Oreo at this moment. Anyway, Oreo's are delicious. But I'm convinced that inside of every Oreo is a tiny little monster. One or two of these monsters are harmless. You eat them, they sit in your stomach for a while and then they get bored and go away.
When you eat 20+ Oreo's, though, you have a small army of monsters living in your stomach. That's like a rave just waiting to happen. They pull out these ginormous speakers and get ready to party. But they don't party...yet. No. They wait. They wait while you turn off the computer. They wait while you put on your PJ's and brush your teeth. They wait while you go back to the kitchen one more time to get a final drink of water before retiring for the night. They wait until the moment your head hits the pillow and then...this starts playing:
And it keeps playing. For about three hours. Or more, since I'm still sitting here typing like a cracked out monkey who is only alive for the purpose of being cracked out. Right now, most normal people are sleeping. But noooo, not me. I'm practically bouncing up and down on the bed like a deranged madman, while 20-30 tiny little horned monsters are cranking up the bass and waving glo-sticks around in my stomach. This is kinda like a caffeine rush, but without coffee. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it right now, but in 6 or so hours, when I decide that I should wake up because there are people coming over today for the Super Bowl party and my general living area looks like it's been ripped apart by a vicious mountain lion and it needs to be cleaned, I'm going to curse that nearly empty bag of Oreo's that is sitting on the coffee table. And that bag of Oreo's...
will laugh at me.
1 comment:
Hah!! I loove it, the way you write is thoroughly amusing!! Not to mention that at this exact moment reading and now writing this I have oreo after taste in my mouth, and am now envisioning little monsters running around in my tummy and its making laugh, hahaha! Thanks! Oreos shall never be the same =D
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